Affaire De Coeur
by looney4rooney
Summary: RxG "God would you like to announce to the whole world we came here to have sex." "Well not really seeing as my wife and your fiancee wouldn't be pleased, but other than that..." Past&Present scenes intertwine to unravel the mystery of this love affair.
1. Rings

**Affaire De Coeur**

I tap my fingers anxiously against the armrest of my seat. My mind swells with images of him. Has he cut his hair? Gotten a tan? Started wearing baggy jeans and tee shirts?

I haven't seen him in five months. Five whole months is what it has taken to finally discover a date in which we could both meet. Do you know what this has done to me?

Not seeing his robin eggs blue eyes. Not running my hands through his bright blonde hair. Not being able to glide my hand over his soft skin. Its kills me, pains me to the point of where I have a hard time keeping my emotions in check.

I miss his smile, his touch, the way he looks at me. As if I am the only person who matters. The only person he wants to see.

I miss the way he holds me. Arms embracing me tight, every inch of him plastered to me. As if he wants to take in a memory of how it is to have me in his arms. So that he has something to remember, something to think about on those lonely nights when he isn't really alone.

I miss the way he always smells like ink, from a newspaper, a book, a pen that his hand grips as he jots down poetry, lyrics, scripts. Anything that sparks his creative imagination. The hint of coffee you can always smell on his breath because he drinks so much not even Listerine could diminish it. The starchy smell of his neat button-up shirts. I sit here and I pray he still dresses the same for I think I would be on the verge of tears if I could not press my nose to his chest and smell that fresh clean scent of his shirt.

I sigh deeply and the elderly woman next to me gives me a strange look.

"Honey, is something the matter?" she asks.

I shake my head and smile politely.

"Are you meeting someone?" she asks knowingly.

I nod and smile brightly.

She smiles back at me. "You're positively glowing. You love this man?"

"I do," I whisper.

She notices the ring on my finger and pulls it up examining it. "Your fiancée?"

_Technically. _

I nod again. I don't feel like talking about my _situation, _secret as it is. I sincerely don't want a disapproving look from someone who doesn't know me. It's positively none of her business that I do not love the man who gave me the conventional diamond ring she is now examining. A circular diamond, golden band, nothing special.

My heart belongs to the man who gave me the canary yellow diamond ring I wear on my right ring finger. Square cut, brushed silver band, spectacularly unique.

The woman frowns when she notices my other ring.

"Oh, darling, your rings don't match at all," she says frowning.

I grin at the thought.

The plane lands and my heart begins to pound with excitement, fear, anticipation. Excited to see him. Scared he isn't the same that he looks different, acts different, smells different. Afraid he hasn't shown up at all. Unable to get away, escape. I have anticipated this very moment, dreamt of this very moment, for five months. I have lived for this moment.

I smooth out my black woolen mini dress and the black tights beneath, slipping my feet back into my shiny black pumps. I adjust my long curly hair as I slip on my cardigan and a floppy cherry red crotched cap.

The people in front of me start moving towards the front of the plane and I eagerly push forward, clutching my leather handbag to my chest.

Is he wearing his ring? The one from me. Do we have plans? Or are we staying in? The night that lies ahead me is unpredictable and this exhilarates me.

Outside the windows of the plane, the sky is dark yet white snow flutters down. A perfect backdrop for our long awaited reunion.

I am finally off the plane. I walk down the long ramp towards the door that leads me to him.

I push through the doors and walk a little ways out, my eyes scanning the mob of people feverishly.

A pair of electric blue eyes blazes out of the crowd and I've found him.

I drink him in. His blonde hair is short and spiky, just the way I like it. His skin, pale and creamy. Thank the lord. His skin is so flawless. I love his white as snow complexion. I wouldn't have him any other way.

He's wearing a white button up shirt, tan slacks, brown shoes. A black coat envelopes him and a long green scarf winds around his neck. He looks perfect. He looks the same.

He spots me and the most beautiful smile takes shape on his face.

I run to him, curls flying, clutching my hat with my hand to keep it from falling off and he stands there eyes shining, smile dashing, strong arms wide open, waiting for me.

I jump into them, crying and laughing at the same time and he spins me around a few times, clearly happy I am here.

He gently places me on the floor and I don't allow him to let me go. I wrap my arms around his waist and lean into him heavily, inhaling the smell of his shirt. _Starch, soap, clean, fresh. _

He rubs his hands up and down my back soothingly and whispers into my ear, _My Ella. _

I smell coffee on his breath and my heart rejoices. He's the same, exactly the same.

I move my arms, wrapping them around his neck and pull him into a searing kiss. He responds immediately and his hands brace my back tenderly.

I pull away and smile, tears shining in my eyes. "I missed you so much," I say and I lift his right hand up, twisting the silver band on his right ring finger, thrilled that its there.

He kisses my forehead and wipes away my tears with an ink-smeared thumb. "Shhhh," he whispers. "I'm here now."

I peck his lips and wrap my arms around him, feeling every muscle in his back.

People milling about the crowded airport smile down at us, thinking oh how innocent, how sweet, a couple in love.

Yet, what we have is far from innocent. Far from what's right. But it feels so right. It feels damn right.

I start to unravel his scarf and he smirks, chuckling slightly.

"Already undressing me?" he asks teasingly, quirking one perfectly shaped brow. "An airport filled with minors is hardly appropriate."

I give him a wry grin and press my nose to his neck. _Same cologne. _I kiss his throat.

"Gabby," he warns.

"Ok, ok, I'll stop" I say and entwine my hand with his.

"Save the passion for later," he whispers into my ear coolly. I get chills. You have no idea how long I have waited for this.

I push my mind to other thoughts as he wishes.

"Where are we going?" I ask, hardly able to contain my joy.

He kisses my hand all over, lingering on the ring he gave me. "To get a bite to eat. You didn't bring any luggage did you?"

"No," I say. "Just me."

"Good. You're all I need," he says sincerely. He pauses and cracks a mysterious grin, adding, "Besides, I like the thrill of having only the clothes on our backs. There's something exhilarating about having to wear the same clothes twice in a row."

"Don't remind me," I murmur sadly. "Only twice."

He brings a finger to my lips, quieting me. "Don't speak of that. We won't speak of what little time we have. We're in New York! We have to live in this moment, get the most we can out of the coming hours."

I nod and he drops his finger, smiling. "You look breathtakingly beautiful."

Color rushes to my cheeks. Isn't it silly, after all these years of knowing him that he still makes me blush?

"You're the same," I whisper happily, as he wraps an arm around me, steering me towards the exit. "Exactly the same."

We'll both be leaving the next day. Have to be _home for the holidays_. We'll both narrowly make it, only their hours before it's officially Christmas day.

Our excuse: business. _Damn bosses. _Its too bad we won't be there, _all _of Christmas Eve.

For the next twenty-four hours we choose to ignore the unappealing rings that adorn our left ring fingers. We concentrate on the beautiful ones we wear with no regret, with love.

Because two people having a dangerous affair can be in love. Love is love no matter the circumstances.

_This was an idea that came to me and I had to get it out of my system. Its kinda getting me out of my writer's block, so expect updates on my other stories soon. I promise! _

_Don't know how long it will be. For now its T could turn to an M, not sure what I'm planning to do. We'll see. _

_Clarifications: Ryan and Gabriella are 26. Gabriella's engaged, Ryan is married. It's the day before Christmas Eve and neither live in NY. It was their meeting spot. They have known each other since high school. There could be flashbacks possibly. _

_Hope you enjoyed this. Thanks for reading!_


	2. Taxi

**Affaire De Coeur**

As we exit the airport and hit the slick, wet pavement of the city sidewalks, I hardly shiver. Just being here with Ryan, holding hands, I feel strangely warm. Like, I may not have a winter coat, but just the fact that I'm here makes me so happy, I don't think about the cold or anything else for that matter. All I think about is Ryan.

He thinks I'm cold, and I'm sure I am, I just don't feel anything but my heart beating so fast its sure to jump out of my chest. My love for him is so strong.

He pulls me close, pressing my face to his chest to shield me from the cold. His arms wrap around mine attempting to combine our body heat to keep warm. It's working. But as he's made clear we'll save the _bothered_ half of hot and bothered for later.

We stand there a seemingly perfect pair waiting for a taxi to the city dwellers, but in reality are romance is far from seamless.

.o.

_I had always seen Ryan around school, always faithfully beside Sharpay, yet we had never spoken. It was commonly known that Troy and I were a couple and that Sharpay was our somewhat enemy. Someone we steered clear from. And that in turn meant I steered very clear from Ryan. _

_ Yet, senior year everything changed. Ryan was different. I remember standing there with Troy at our lockers on the first day of twelfth grade and Sharpay entered…alone. There was no festively dressed, fair-haired boy by her side._

_She stomped down the hall, silver heels clicking angrily against the tile as if she knew everyone was staring at her and wondering where her other half was. And we were._

_I looked to Troy eyes wide open in surprise and he had the same reaction. Where was Ryan? Was he sick? Had he come in early? There was no way he wasn't somewhere near by. _

_And then he entered the school. At first we didn't recognize him without his usual sparkly clothes and joyous smile. He looked unusually somber, maybe even a little angry at the world. What had happened to Ryan Evans over the summer? _

_Well the one thing that seemed to register in every girl's mind, even my own taken one was Ryan had gotten sexy. He no longer looked like the little flamboyant boy who did jazz squares. He looked like a man. _

_His blonde hair was free from the constraints of a brightly colored cap, it was messy and short like he hadn't bothered to brush it; his blue eyes were the same, though they seemed darker to match his mood. His skin was pale as ever, yet that just seemed to make him all the more delicious against the hundreds of perfectly tanned boys that littered the hallways, Troy included._

_His jaw was set, his lips pressed tightly together, not frowning, yet not smiling. He seemed oblivious to all the looks he was getting as he glided with ease down the hall. _

_I eyed him eagerly, hoping Troy didn't notice. He wore gray jeans, blue and white sneakers, and a white button up shirt, wrinkly and disheveled that seemed to overemphasize his ivory skin. The sleeves were pushed up to his elbows, exposing firm forearms. Was it my imagination or did Ryan look muscular? He didn't seem as scrawny. His chest seemed defined under the loose fitting shirt. Instead of a matching briefcase, a leather messenger bag was slung carelessly over his shoulder. _

_I held in my breath as I watched him and everyone else staring at him. He walked through the same set of double doors his sister had just slipped through and I watched everyone sigh with relief. He may look different, but he still had the same interests. I listened to all the voices whispering about the Evans twins. _

"_Oh my gosh, did you see Ryan? He had like normal clothes on!"_

"_I wonder what Sharpay thinks. She's gotta be mega pissed."_

"_He isn't smiling and his clothes are sparkle free! Damn, what happened to him?" _

"_He looks kinda hot." _

"_Eww, shut up, Cas. It's Ryan!"_

"_He must still do theater, he still has it first period with Sharpay." _

"_I wonder if they'll still do a pairs audition. They've got to be fighting. I mean this is the first time they've entered the school separately."_

"_Gabriella," a soft voice said. _

_I turned around to find Troy looking at me. _

"_We're gonna be late for class." _

"_Coming," I whispered quietly, unable to get the picture of the new Ryan Evans out of my brain._

.o.

A bright yellow cab pulls up and Ryan opens the door, guiding me in first and then sliding in beside me, pulling the door closed.

"5th and Lexington please," Ryan says to the cabbie in a low, smooth voice.

"Ryan where are we going?" I ask, grabbing his hand, to get his attention.

"Am I not allowed to surprise you?" he asks teasingly and I feel weak at my knees. His voice is so velvety, so pure and I have missed it so much.

"No," I merely mumble and he chuckles, wrapping his arms around me, nose pressed into my hair.

"Must you smell so goddamn appealing," he whispers in my ear. I giggle as he starts to nibble on my ear.

"Ryan," I whisper, as I notice the cabbie raising an eyebrow.

"Sorry," he mutters, laughing. "This is a little harder to save for later than I thought it would be."

"You're not the only one who smells appealing," I purr back.

"Gabby," Ryan says weakly. "Don't say that. We need to have a nice dinner, ok?"

"Ok," I say sweetly, suggestively playing with his collar. "If that's what you want."

"It is," he says adamantly, reluctantly removing my hands from his chest.

"Ok," I repeat quietly, snuggling up next to him on the seat like a little girl, curling my feet underneath me and resting my head on his shoulder.

He relaxes and lets his head fall down and rest atop mine. And it's so sweet, I really don't mind that I have to wait and I don't think he does either for he reaches to lock his hand with mine.

And I know for sure the cabbie doesn't mind for he breathes a sigh of relief when are actions turn much more innocent.

I'm sure it gets rather annoying to have some random couple in the backseat of your car getting hot and heavy at odd hours of the day. Can you spell a-w-k-w-a-r-d?


	3. Halliday's

**Affaire De Coeur**

_Halliday's Diner_

This is the restaurant we pull up to. And I begin to laugh so hard, I feel as if I won't ever stop.

Ryan looks over at me, a big smile on his face. "Not what you were expecting was it?"

"Not at all," I answer honestly, through my laughter. "But I love it."

"I knew you would. You always hated those fancy places I'd take you."

"Too stiff, too formal," I say shuddering dramatically.

Ryan chuckles and pays the cabbie, giving him a rather large tip I notice. He steps out of the car, and takes my hand helping me out onto the cold, slushy sidewalk. He wraps an arm around my waist and guides me into the diner, the wind around us tousling our hair and making us shiver.

"I made a reservation," he whispers in my ear, as our feet hit the white and black-checkered tile. I take in the colors, the scent of coffee, the glass donut displays, the low ruffled curtains on the windows that provide a beautiful view of city night life. It's not big and exciting like you would expect everything in New York to be. It has a small town vibe, perfect for us to just be ourselves in. We don't have to be some glamorously messed up couple. Even though we are kind of a messed up match seeing that other hearts besides our own are involved. Not that we like to acknowledge that.

"You did not," I say giggling.

He laughs. "Course I didn't. It's a diner for god's sake."

He points to the sign on the wall ahead of us. _Seat Yourselves. _

"Apparently you can't even make reservations," Ryan says with an amused expression on his face, loosening his scarf exposing his smooth, freshly shaved face I want to…blister.

I grab his cold hand and drag him over to a booth with turquoise padding on the seat and a multi-colored speckled white tabletop. The condiments are arranged on a silver tray. Salt with pepper. Ketchup with mustard. And I feel the need to mess everything up. Can't you have pepper with mustard? Does everything always have to fit perfectly together even if maybe its really rather boring? Wouldn't you rather have something daring and exciting, bold? Is it scary how I'm comparing condiments to my _situation? _

I shake my head and stare glumly down at the table. His fingertips glide under my chin and he lifts my face up. His own sad blue eyes stare into mine. "Please don't be sad," he whispers. And my heart aches. I nod and struggle to bring a smile to my face. But then he smiles back and suddenly my smile is real because it's almost impossible to not feel like one of those almost annoyingly happy people when he's smiling. His smile is fluorescent; it could light up this entire charming yet crappy diner.

.o.

_I was curious. Had Ryan signed up for the musical? With Sharpay, without, at all? I pondered this delicate topic as I walked down the hall towards English. _

_ I reached the list and for some reason my heart was pounding. It was like I was walking up to some casting list, which is completely ridiculous since I have never done theater in my entire life. There was no explanation for my stomach dropping, my nervousness. _

_ And it was like everyone's worst nightmare had occurred. For the first time since…never, Ryan and Sharpay Evans would not be auditioning as a pair. In fact there were no pairs auditioning, the list simply had Sharpay and then Ryan separately under singles auditions. Sharpay's signature was curly and feminine. Ryan's messy and boyish. _

_ And it's like my hand has a mind of its own because I'm suddenly pulling a pen out of my backpack and signing up. _

.o.

I order pancakes and sausage. Ryan orders an omelet and orange juice. And coffee, lots and lots of coffee. There's something about eating breakfast for dinner that is so whimsical and fun. Almost like you're getting a rush out of doing something so opposite from the norm.

The waitress lays the yellow dish platters in front of us and pours a cup of coffee for both of us. Ryan eagerly sips his, the steam floating in front of his face. He looks so sexy that I want to capture it forever in a photograph. Too bad I didn't bring my camera with me.

"How can you drink it so hot?" I ask, frowning at the too hot coffee in front of me.

"Practice," Ryan says chuckling. "My tongue is permanently burnt." He sticks his tongue out a little and it's bright red. I laugh as I drench my pancakes with thick dark syrup.

He takes a bite of his omelet and I dig into my pancakes.

Ryan sighs and gives me an apologetic grin. "Ella, we might as well get this awkwardness over with."

I take in my breath sharply and nod.

"How is Colton?" he asks politely, but I can sense his jealousy as he stabs his omelet.

"Fine," I say, frowning at the thought of him. He really is a great guy; he just isn't the one for me. "How's _Bridget?_" I ask, feeling angry at the thought of her. She's so beautiful, talented, and smart. She makes me sick.

"Well," Ryan says with a frown. Then he brightens up and smiles. "Now that we've gotten that over with. Let's have a fantastic evening." He winks at me and I crack a smile and wink back.

.o.

_I sat in English wondering, what in the world had I done? Why had I signed up to audition? Was I insane? I had no idea if I could sing, act, or dance. Ok, so I knew I couldn't dance, but the other two. No idea. _

_ "So, I didn't know you were into theater," I heard someone say. The voice was sort of low and secretive. _

_ I whipped my head around to find it was Ryan. Yet another change. His voice was much deeper. _

_ He looked so miraculously beautiful. Like a mirage or something. I stared into his deep blue eyes, and then looked down at my lap afraid I would get lost in them._

_ "Well, I'm really not, usually," I mumbled. "I don't really know why I signed up." _

_ "Oh," he said. "Well good luck." He gives me a funny smirk and then goes back to looking dull and depressed, staring at nothing in particular._

_ "You too," I managed to whisper as I turned back around in my seat. _

.o.

Ryan finishes his omelet and pours himself another cup of coffee. His fifth. He looks wide-awake; he's drunk too much. His eyes are dark blue and alert and I giggle because he just looks so cute.

He walks around to the other side of the booth, sits down, and wraps his right arm around me, his green coffee mug shaking in his hand.

"Darling, don't you think you've had enough?" I say laughing.

"Of coffee probably," he replies. "Of you, never. I don't get enough," he says sadly. He kisses my cheek and puts the cup down, wrapping his other arm around me too, as if maybe, just maybe if he holds on to me tightly enough, I won't ever be able to leave, and neither will he.

My mind wanders to this ridiculous fantasy of Ryan and I living here in New York. We'd live in some amazing studio apartment, and we'd wake up every morning and drink coffee and read the newspaper together in front of some huge window in our loft, looking out on the busy streets. And Ryan would have this huge antique desk in which he could write for hours on. And I'd just sit there and watch him…


	4. Dreamworld

**Affaire De Coeur**

_Auditions were the most terrifying thing in my entire life. To have to perform in front of everyone was like a life or death experience. I would either live or die. _

_ The fact that Ryan Evans was in the crowd didn't seem to help, seeing as I was suddenly afraid of him. Yet there he sat, right in the front row, a blank expression on his face. He wore a brown hooded sweatshirt, dark wash jeans, and green sneakers. His new attire was taking some getting some taking use to. The fact that he looked nearly edible to me now was not good. I had a boyfriend. I had Troy. _

_ I had to sing now. Standing here on stage in front of everyone, I had to sing. I opened my mouth and sang with all my heart, praying I didn't sound like a cat dying. _

_ I must've not sounded too terrible for two lines into the song Ryan's eyes went from blankly staring at the wall to his eyes staring intensely into mine. I looked away quickly and focused on staring at the doors to the theater, the ones I wished I could run through. I would surely falter if I continued to look into Ryan's eyes. _

_ I got through the song and breathed a sigh of relief. And people actually applauded. I held my breath and quickly glanced over at Ryan. He was clapping. Oh my god, he was actually…clapping. He hadn't clapped for anyone…not even Sharpay…except me. It was light, but it was clapping. _

_ Ms. Darbus looked up at me with widened eyes and then smiled jovially. "Gabriella, what a pleasant surprise! Your voice was impeccable!" She clapped her hands together excitedly. "Ryan, Ryan darling!" she called out waking Ryan from his reverie._

_ His head jerked up and his eyes focused on Ms. Darbus._

_ "Come here, dear. Read with Ms. Montez," she called cheerily. _

_ A loud huff came from Sharpay. Ryan glanced over at her. She looked pissed. Extremely pissed. He smiled, a devious, evil grin. And then he shifted his eyes and they landed on me. He grinned at me, the same evil grin he had given Sharpay. As if to say, do you see how much this is killing her? Isn't it great? _

_ He slowly rose up off the seat and climbed onto the stage. He walked towards me, his shoes scuffing against the stage and soon he was right beside me. Mere inches were between us. _

_ Ms. Darbus handed me a script and then offered one to Ryan. "No thanks," he had replied. "I know it by heart." _

_ "Very good, Mr. Evans," she had responded, delighted. _

_ "All right, I'd like you to read from Act III, Scene II. Begin," she called from the edge of the stage. _

_ I gulped as I looked over at Sharpay who was giving me an evil look from her seat below us. Ryan noticed my nervousness and his eyes followed mine to Sharpay. He leaned towards me and whispered in my ear, "Ignore her. She's just jealous that you can sing better than she can. Let's hope you can act."_

_ He pulled away and straightened himself beside me. _

_ "Linus, what are you doing here?" I began nervously. _

_ Ryan's perfect blue eyes filled with tears and he turned towards me, taking my hand. "Cassandra, my Cassandra," he said, his voice filled with despair. He dropped to his knees and kissed my hand. "Forgive me, I beg you, forgive me."_

_ God, he was so good. He made me want to be that good. I retracted my hand back quickly and crossed my arms, holding them close to my chest. I thought of my father and tears quickly filled my eyes. So that was the secret. Think of something sad. I wondered what he thought of to make him so convincingly upset. _

_I mustered up as much anger as I could and tried to put more emotion into my next line. "Never," I whispered, low and bitter. "How could you ask that of me, Linus?" I asked my voice rising. "After everything." I added, a little softer, a little sadder. _

_He looked pained as I spoke and he grasped for my hands again. I staggered back, scared, it felt like something the character would do. He looked hurt and he hung his head low as he spoke, desperately. "You don't understand," he said. "You don't know everything. You don't understand," he stressed. _

"_Enough," Ms. Darbus commanded. I broke contact with Ryan's eyes and looked out at the crowd. They all looked so awestricken. _

_Ms. Darbus applauded. "Bravo, my dears! Fabulous! Auditions are over! The Cast List will be posted on Friday morning."_

_I stood motionless as I watched everyone file out of the theater. I couldn't believe I had done that. _

"_We're it," _

_I whipped around to find Ryan was still there on the stage behind me. I thought he had left. _

"_Excuse me?" I whispered. _

"_We're it," he stated again, solemnly. "You and me. We're Linus and Cassandra."_

"_How do you know?" I asked, bewildered. _

_He gave a small smile. "Her eye twitched. While she was watching us. Her eye always twitches when she really likes a performance." _

"_Oh," I said as I watched him walk off the stage and out through the huge wooden doors._

.o.

"Ella," he whispers softly, waving a hand in front of me. "Ella,"

"Huh? What?" I ask, shaking my head.

"You were daydreaming," he says laughing and kissing the top of my head.

"Oh," I say, with a giggle. "Sorry."

"Don't be," he answers automatically, pulling me back into another flashback.

.o.

_ I didn't talk to Ryan all week. I was too nervous. After that passionate performance, I had been having… dreams. I never had dreams, not even about Troy and all of a sudden I was having silly little dreams about Ryan. In one dream, he was a knight and I was a damsel and he saved me from a dragon. In another he was Will Turner and I was Elizabeth. In another, he was Noah and I was Allie. _

_ Why was Ryan the male lead in these dreams and not Troy? Was I just too preoccupied with finding out the castings and thinking about the play too much? Or did I have some silly crush on Ryan? I really needed to stop watching movies before bed. _

_ Friday morning I walked up to the casting list, my heart thumping so loudly that I was sure everyone could hear it. Ryan and Sharpay were already there._

_ I didn't even have to look to know whose name was across from Cassandra. It was all over Sharpay's face. She saw me, scowled, and walked away leaving me in front of Ryan. _

_ "Good morning, Cassandra," he chirped. He was smiling, he looked… happy. It was almost as if he was the old Ryan again. Minus the sparkly attire and stylish hat. _

_ "So you're Linus?" I asked stupidly. Of course, he was. Why else would he be this happy?_

_ "Yep," he said, grinning. _

_ "I'm sorry," I said, looking down at the floor. "You know, that Sharpay didn't get the part."_

_ "Don't be," he scoffed. "I didn't want her to get it anyways."_

_ I looked up at him, stunned. Wow, whatever he and Sharpay were fighting about must be major. Ryan was never happy about something that made Sharpay upset. Well either that, or he hid his glee quite well in the past. _

_ "See you at practice," he said, and walked off. _

_ "Practice," I whispered to myself. How would I manage that? _

_ "Congrats, Gabs!" Troy called out and raced towards me, enveloping me in a huge hug. _

_ I'm sorry, I thought as I rested my head on Troy's shoulder. I'm sorry that I don't dream about you. _


	5. Hurry On Now

**Affaire De Coeur**

"Are you ready?" Ryan asks softly, his hand running up and down my arm soothingly.

"Mhmm," I answer, taking one last sip of my milk.

"Is there anywhere else you wanted to go?" he asks me, his eyes staring into mine, waiting for my answer.

"I think we're both eager to hit the sack for the night," I say sincerely.

He chuckles and grins. "Montez, you always surprise me when you talk like that."

I peck him quickly and flash him a smile. "You haven't called me that in a while."

"I know," he says adjusting my cap and buttoning up my cardigan with gentle hands. "I miss calling you that."

"I miss _you_ calling me that," I reply letting him pull me from the booth and lead me out of the diner.

.o.

_ "Montez," Ms. Darbus called, ushering me onto the stage with a flick of her wrist, bracelets jangling. _

_ I sheepishly climbed up the stairs and onto the stage, carefully situating myself next to Ryan. I had become extremely uncomfortable around him. I could no longer deny I was attracted to him. _

_ "OK, let's rehearse Act IV. Begiiiiin."_

_ Face, shining red from the embarrassment of performing so passionately, practice had ended and I slowly trickled off the stage, the theater clearing out quickly. _

_ Walking back behind the curtain, I felt a slight tap on my shoulder. Curls flying, I spun around to find Ryan standing behind me, looking fresh as a daisy. He looked as if he had just spent the last hour at the spa, not screaming and pleading with me. _

_ "Ryan?" I questioned, meekly, utterly surprised to find him still there. _

_ "That's me," he said with a chuckle. "Nice job out there, Montez," he trilled pronouncing my last name in an impeccable Spanish accent. _

_ "Th-thanks," I managed, staring weakly at his perfectly sculpted form. I think I might faint. "Uh, you too." When he actually chooses to talk to me, I find it overwhelming for some reason._

_ "You kidding? I completely blew that last part. I could've been way more emotional."_

_ "You underestimate yourself," I blurted with evident admiration. Kill me now. _

_ "Nah," he said, brushing it off with a wave of his hand. "I believe it's the other way around."_

_ Blushing deeply, I desperately fumbled to change the subject. "If you don't mind me asking, what's going on with you and Sharpay?" Oh my god, I can't believe I said that. _

_ He shrugged, seeming unfazed by the question. "Now that is a long story. In short, I spent the summer figuring out my own identity, Sharpay became offended, and now she won't accept me. I sincerely think she wanted me to be gay."_

_ Whoa, awkward. "Wow, must be kind of weird, you guys not talking. I mean, you were so close."_

_ "Yeah," he says with a sigh. Awwww. "But, I think its good for us to have some time apart. We need to learn to not rely on always having someone there. What if we get into different colleges? We have to know we can do something on our own."_

_ He's way deeper than people give him credit for. "Yeah," I muttered sympathetically. Well that was intelligent. _

_ "So, guess I'll see you bright and early tomorrow. Act V. We get to be nice to each other now." He laughed and started to walk away. _

_ "Yep," I called out. "See you later, alligator." Sweet Jesus, I did NOT just say that._

_ Three second later a faint "After awhile crocodile" accompanied by deep laughter._

.o.

Another cab ride, another awkward moment of, let's not get freaky till the hotel. I mean seriously, respect cabbies everywhere.

We file out of the cab, and step out in front of a gigantic skyscraper.

"Ryan! This looks extremely expensive," I cry clutching his arm in excitement.

He chuckles and loops my arm through his. "Never mind that. We could be outside of a seedy motel and I wouldn't care what anything looks like. Long as there is a bed for you and me, I'm good."

I giggle girlishly, feeling a little nervous. I mean, I don't know why because it's not like we've never done anything before. It's just been so long.

"Well I'm glad you sprung for the thousand dollar a night kinda place. I mean, a girl won't put out just anywhere," I tease.

"Shut up and let's get inside," he whispers, racing us into the building.

.o.

_The play was a great success. "You two are dating right?" people would ask us afterwards. "You have such undeniable chemistry."_

_ While I would remain completely and utterly speechless, at the thought of us being together, Ryan would answer politely and honestly. "Oh, no the boyfriend would kill me," he would joke. Or he would say just for kicks, "Ms. Montez and I don't dare to divulge aspects of our personal lives," leaving the questioners flustered with raised eyebrows. I mean I think they literally thought we were having passionate sex on a regular basis. How embarrassing and, uhhh sorta nice to think about!?_

_ It was the last performance. Red roses from Troy sat on my dressing table with "For my Cassandra from your true Linus" on the card. That label really angered me for some reason. _

_ It was the last scene. Ryan and I stood as Linus and Cassandra on stage for the last time. And I wasn't having a hard time getting emotional. No more practices, no more rehearsals. Would Ryan even acknowledge me after this? I felt depressed. _

_ Ryan took my hand and uttered his last tearful line, "I love you, Cassandra."_

_ "I love you too," I cried, in a sense sincerely meaning it. Well as in to Ryan. _

_ And then he grabbed me and kissed me, his lips melting into mine. Holy hell, I had never felt so turned on in my entire life. _

_ There wasn't a kiss in the script._

.o.

Ryan's fingers tap anxiously as he waits to get the key from the concierge. I swear, he is so impatient I think he might murder the poor girl if she doesn't hurry up.

"Hear you are, Mr. Evans. Enjoy your stay," she trills sweetly.

"Indeed I will," he says a mischievous grin on his face.

As we turn to walk to the elevators, I nudge him in the gut, reprimanding him. "God would you like to announce to the whole world we came here to have sex."

"Well, not really seeing as my wife and your fiancée wouldn't be pleased, but other than that…" he pauses as if he's about to screech out some string of profanity involving our names and sex.

I throw a hand over his mouth and he licks my hand like a child would, when you try to keep them quiet.

The elevator operator gives us a bemused expression as we hustle into the elevator.

I quickly draw my hand back and slide it across Ryan's shirt, to rid it of any spit.

Ryan shoos my hand away childishly, and says "Floor 35" in his best grown up voice.

"You two sweet 'arts?" he grumbles, grinning at us.

"You could say that," Ryan says, vaguely, not offering any information.

"Ahhh" the man replies giving us disapproving looks as if he knows we're doing something wrong.

The doors open and we shuffle out, uncomfortable under the man's gaze.

Room 3567, here we come.


	6. Foreplay

**Affaire De Coeur**

Ryan and I speed walk to the door, both of us feeling anxious. His eyes look dark and crazed and I'm sure my mouth is quivering. If anyone had seen us, they would surely think we were maniacal.

We reach the door and are the only ones in the hallway. Ryan tries several times to open the door, obviously his mind elsewhere. Continuing to fumble with the key, Ryan finally gets the door unlocked and we stumble in.

I flip on a couple lights and we find the coat closet. Ryan discards his coat and scarf, hanging them up in the closet. I take off my cardigan and he reaches for it, placing it on a hanger next to his.

"So," I say.

"So," he says back.

We both start to laugh nervously and next thing you know, Ryan has me pinned against the wall, kissing me feverishly, my cap knocked to the ground.

.o.

_The crowd was clapping, clapping so loud I could hardly hear my heart. And it was beating pretty loud._

_ Ryan pulled away, an impish smile on his face, his arms still around my waist, holding me steady. _

_ I looked up at him and he seemed so…calm. As if, it had all been planned out and he hadn't just decided to do it spur of the moment. Why had he decided to do it? My mind reeled with questions and confusion._

_ One arm left my waist, yet the other stayed, as he turned us both to face the audience. He grinned broadly as he bowed. Realizing I probably looked ridiculously shocked, I too, put on a wide smile and managed a slight curtsy in my lace dress._

_ As I looked out at the crowd, I realized I couldn't make out any faces. The lights were so blinding. But I was searching. Searching for something, someone for some reason._

_ And then it dawned on me. Who I was looking for. Why I was worried. Troy. Troy was here and he knew. He knew there hadn't been a kiss in the script._

.o.

"Good God," I moan as he breaks away from me.

Ryan smiles a crooked grin as he backs away from me, stooping down to take off his boots. "Well worth the wait, huh? I told you so."

"So you were right. Big. Deal." I say, following suit, throwing my pumps off. But I don't mean it. Standing there, in the soft glow of the fancy hotel chandelier, he's never looked more delicious. I salivate now that his fresh white button-up is in view and how snugly it fits on him. My eyes travel down his slacks, to his black-socked feet.

Ryan smirks, as he watches me watch him. And I flush crimson for some unknown reason. I shift uncomfortably, over to the light switch pad and turn two down. Only the lamp in the entryway is on now.

"Well what did you do that for?" he teases, inching his way towards me.

I shrug and stare mesmerized at him as he reaches me. He wraps his arms around me in a hug, and I lean into him heavily and for some reason, I'm crying, tears splattering his perfect white shirt.

"Ella, oh baby, what's wrong?" he whispers into my ear, gripping me even tighter, allowing me to sob into his chest. "We don't have to do anything if you're uncomfortable, ok?" he says soothingly, stroking my hair. "I can call the concierge right now and they can get you a separate room and…"

"It's not that," I croak into his chest. "I just…missed you that's all."

"Oh, Ella," he sighs, kissing my forehead. "I missed you too."

.o.

_A few moments later, Ryan took my hand and led me backstage._

_ "So what did you think?" Ryan asked, eyes shimmering._

_ "Of what?" I asked, dying with the embarrassment of him actually asking me what he thought of his kissing me._

_ "Of the final performance?" he asked, in a duh-don't-you-know-what-I'm-talking-about voice. Oh. _

_ "Um, I think it went well," I murmured._

_ "Me too!" Ryan said with enthusiasm, making up for my lack of. _

_ "Gabriella!" Troy called out, and he was suddenly walking towards us._

_ "You were great!" he cried, enveloping me in a warm hug. Wrapped in Troy's arms, I glanced over at Ryan and I could swear he looked jealous. And much to my dismay, I was glad that he was jealous._

_ Releasing me, Troy then walked over to Ryan and clapped him on the back. "You were awesome man," he exclaimed._

_ Ryan gave him a warm grin, yet it seemed a little guilty. "Thanks," he said, brightly. _

_ "I'll see you at the cast party," he then called out to me, walking away to, I assume, give us some privacy. _

_ "Ok," I called back. _

_ Troy walked back over to me, smiling, and pecked my lips sweetly. "Babe, I didn't want to bring it up with Ryan around, but I didn't think there was a kiss in the script." _

_ Oh he was being so nice about it. He could've gotten angry and yelled at Ryan, but he was leaving it to me to confirm things. "It wasn't. Ms. Darbus thought it would be a nice touch for the final showing," I lied. _

_ "Oh," Troy said, relaxing. "OK, well I gotta jet off to practice. Have fun at your cast party. But not too much fun." He kissed my cheek and walked off, leaving me feeling terrible. And I hadn't really done anything. Except not feel anything for him anymore._

.o.

Ryan takes my hand and leads me over to the bed, pulling us both onto it. He wraps an arm around me, pulling me closer and I snuggle my head into his chest, wrapping my arms around his waist. My breathing begins to return to normal and I feel much more relaxed.

"How are you feeling?" he asks, concerned, his fingers drawing circles on my back, causing me to shiver.

"Better," I say, as I roll on top of him. I lower my head to kiss where throat meets chest. Lips lingering, I pull up slowly, staring into his deep blue eyes before mumbling, "Much better," in a husky tone.

Clearly pleased, he closes his eyes in contentment, a dopey grin on his face.

I plant a kiss on his alabaster chest each time I undo a button and soon reach the tops of his slacks, the shirt now wide open, displaying his perfectly muscular chest in all its glory. Removing his brown belt, I unbutton and unzip his pants, letting them fall to the floor in a heap, as I shimmy down along with them. Now perched on the end of the bed, I smile over at him as he opens his lust filled eyes. Oh his skin is even more luminous than I remember and he looks awfully edible in his black boxers and socks.

He grins sexily, his eyes flickering as if has some evil plan. And then he's leaping at me like a lion, tackling me to the rug that lies before the bed. And it should hurt, but it doesn't.

.o.

_Parking my old red pick-up truck outside of the Evans' mansion, I stepped out wearing the same lacey white floor-length dress I had worn as Cassandra in the play. That had been part of the plan, that all of the cast wear their costumes and that the crew wear their tee shirts. My hair was pinned up in a curly up do, and I wore sparkling makeup that brightened my face. _

_ My nerves on end, I walked up the steps and through the open doors. The party was in full swing. The house was dark, but flashing lights lit up the place. Loud music pumped from the speakers and waiters and waitresses in seventeenth century costumes spun around the room, silver platters full of food balanced on the palms of their hands. It was the most extravagant affair I had ever been too. It was like, a party!?_

_ Looking like a deer caught in headlights, I pushed through the crowd, desperate to find someone I knew. I felt so overwhelmed. _

_ Unsuccessful, I found myself pushed against the wall, people dancing past me. Grabbing the elbow of a girl who had been in the chorus, I shouted over the music, "Bathroom?"_

_ "Upstairs!" she yelled irritated, shrugging her arm away from me. _

_ Slipping backwards towards the end of the house, I spun around to find a staircase. Sighing with relief, I crept up the winding staircase, careful not to make a sound. _

_ It was completely dark upstairs and I fumbled to find a doorknob. My hand wrapping around one, I opened the door to find a bedroom. Creeping inside, I felt along the wall until hitting a switch, flooding the room with light. _

_ The walls were covered in artwork and comic strips and the duvet had a navy and gray stripe pattern. A guitar sat propped in the corner and sheets of music were sprawled out over a large table. _

_ Walking over, I began to leaf through the pages and realized someone had written on them. Someone had composed these sheets. _

_ This was Ryan's room. Breathing heavily, I backed away from the table towards the door. And bumped into something._

_ "Admiring my room?"_

.o.

His body flush against mine, he attacks my lips roughly. He then heaves himself off of me and removes my tights, his hands gliding against my bare legs. Pulling me up into a sitting position, he places me on his lap, and nibbles at my ears as he removes my dangling earrings. Wrapping his arms around my neck, he removes my necklace, kissing my neck before placing my jewelry on the armoire behind us.

His hands travel down my back, unzipping my dress. I stand letting it tumble to the ground.

His eyes linger on me, taking in my black lingerie. "We're creepily color coordinated," he observes, picking himself up off the floor to stand before me.

"That we are," I whisper, as we unconsciously drift towards each other.

His face mere inches from mine, his nose nuzzles mine. His lips meet mine and they brush against each other briefly. They meet again, this time in a long, passionate kiss.

And we hit the bed again.

.o.

_My eyes grew wide as I turned to face him. Whipping around I whispered, "Ryan? I uh… I was looking for the bathroom."_

_ "Next door on the left," he said, jerking a thumb towards the door._

_ "Oh," I mumbled. "Whoops."_

_ He grinned and stepped into his room, gesturing for me to follow him. _

_ The bathroom could wait. I followed eagerly, and adrenaline coursed through my body as he closed the door behind us. I had some crazy fantasy he was bringing me in here to ravish me. I was awful. _

_ "So, about that whole kiss thing," Ryan began, walking over to sit on the bed. I took a seat beside him, careful to leave space between us. "I really want to apologize for that. It was totally uncalled for and completely unprofessional. I guess I just got caught up in the play." He chuckled, looking over at me, waiting for my response. _

_ "Oh it's ok," I replied, looking down at my hands. More than okay…._

_ "Oh good," he said. "I hope Troy wasn't angry about it."_

_ Something in his voice told me didn't really mean that. "Oh no. He understood. You know, artistic license. He gets it."_

_ Ryan laughed and I giggled too. I said the most retarded things around him. I mentally slapped the crap out of myself. _

_ I found myself taking in his outfit. The ruffled, white tunic, the navy blue knickers, the dishelved blonde hair falling into his eyes. I tore my eyes from him; afraid he would catch me staring during our awkward moment of silence. _

_ "So," Ryan stated, breaking the silence. "You want to get back to the party?"_

_ "Ok," I said, secretly dreading it. _

_ We both stood up, filing out of his room and back down the stairs. Back to chaos. _

_ Three hours later, we were both drunk out of our minds. We were innocently drunk though. How were we supposed to know the fruit punch was spiked?_

_ The party still hopping we had drifted into our own private corner, much to my drunken joy. He was talking to me and only me and that's the way it had been for a full one hundred and eighty minutes. It was pure bliss. _

_ We both sat hip to hip against the grey wall in the dining room, nursing our plastic cups of "punch". We'd been having random conversation all night. And any little thing made us erupt into fits of giggles. _

_ "And she said, 'Ryan, you look like a mother fucking fag without your fedora on' and I was like, 'Sharpay, I looked like a mother fucking fag with it on'." _

_ We both laughed uncontrollably and I unconsciously let my head rest against his broad shoulder. My head rocked against his shaking shoulder as he chuckled._

_ "Ella," he mumbled into my hair._

_ "What?" I said jerking my head up off his shoulder. "What did you call me?"_

_ "Ella," he whispered softly, looking a little hurt. "Does no one call you that?"_

_ "No," I whispered, playing with the folds of my dress. "But I guess you can."_

_ "Ok," he said. "Ella?"_

_ "Yes."_

_ "I kissed you on purpose."_

_ "I know."_

_ "You do?"_

_ "Yeah."_

_ "Oh. I'm sorry."_

_ "It's ok. You already said you were."_

_ "I take it back."_

_ "Take what back?"_

_ "That I'm sorry."_

_ "Why?"_

_ "Cause…" he trailed off. Leaning over he grabbed my face in his hands and kissed me, his tongue sticky as it swirled around in my mouth._

_ "Shit," he cursed, as he pulled away from me. "Sorry. I'm not thinking straight."_

_ "Me neither," I said, grabbing the front of his shirt and pulling him towards me, kissing him so hard, my lips burned. _

_ "Let's go upstairs," he whispered, his breath hot against my face. _

_ Taking my hand, we snuck up to his bedroom. Closing the door behind us, he lay me down on his bed, crawling on top of me as he kissed every inch of my body. _

_ A few moments later, his shirt hit the floor. Followed by my dress. Followed by his knickers. _

_ And I didn't feel guilty at all._

.o.

Slipping under the sheets, we continue to kiss vigorously.

Ryan's boxers hit the floor. Followed by my bra. Followed by my panties. But he keeps his socks. He's always had cold feet.

And we make love till three in the morning.

And I don't feel guilty at all.


	7. Hello Sunshine

**Affaire De Coeur**

**.o.**

**Terribly sorry that it took so long for me to update this. Good news is I finally turned in my major paper so maybe things will slow down at school and I'll have more time to write. That would be awesome.**

**.o.**

My eyes flicker open and for a moment I forget where I am. Then a slow smile spreads across my face as I realize that my head lies against Ryan's smooth alabaster chest instead of my dinky white down pillow back home.

I shift my eyes upward to see Ryan's eyes are still closed. He wears a slight smile and his eyebrows are furrowed in concentration as if he's having an intense dream.

It's very dark in the room, with the curtains drawn all the way, leaving a small crack where they meet. Moonlight streams in from the crack, casting a bright, shimmering light across the bed. I glance over at the digital clock on the bedside table, the red numbers blaring into my tired eyes, and it reads 5:36.

We still have time. I close my eyes and fall back to sleep.

Three hours later, I wake to a soft kiss on my brow. My eyes snap open to find Ryan hovering over me, a broad grin on his handsome face. "Hello Sunshine," he whispers, the tone of his voice cheery yet sad at the same time. We only have a few hours.

"Come into my life," I sing softly and we both chuckle.

His stomach growls and we both giggle.

"Breakfast?" he asks, leaping off of me and shrugging on his boxers.

"Sure," I say, smiling up at him from the bed.

.o.

_My eyes flickered open and I had no idea where I was. The walls were apple green and I could make out a Calvin and Hobbes comic strip directly across from me on the opposite wall. I was draped in my long white dress and my curls were spilling over my shoulders, a navy and gray bedspread covered my legs. _

_Oh. My. God. Ryan. Me. The party. Cups. Punch. His room. _

_I was in his room. I was in his room, in his bed. I was in his room, in his bed, and where the hell was he?!_

_I was just about to kick the covers off and race out the door, when someone turned the knob. Oh lord! What if it was his mom or Sharpay? Panicking, I froze one leg resting on the wooden floor, the other still under the duvet. _

_It was Ryan. It was Ryan and he looked so good I almost gasped but caught myself. He appeared to have just taken a shower and his blond hair shot up in damp spikes. His skin glowed and he smelled like fresh soap. Clothed in grey jeans and a black and white paint splattered tee, his socked feet clamped lightly across the floor as he hung his towel on the back of his closet door. _

_Ignoring my shocked look, he gingerly settled himself beside me on the bed and said with an impish grin, "Good morning Sunshine."_

_Terrified, I scooted away from him, placing both my legs under me as if trying to hide them under the skirt of my dress would make me decent. "Did we, um?" I asked nervously. A part of me wished we had and the other much less selfish side of me prayed we hadn't._

_"No," Ryan assured me, patting my knee softly. I noticed he had a lime green string tied to his wrist. I wondered what it was for. "We didn't, well, you know."_

_He paused and took a deep breath. "We got pretty damn close, but no it didn't get pass some, well, thorough kissing." He blushed slightly and scratched the back of his neck. "I, uh, put your dress back on earlier this morning. I hope you don't mind."_

_I looked down at my lap as my face colored. "Um, no, I don't mind."_

_"Well, I realize that this is totally awkward, but you know this was a complete mistake obviously, and uh we both said and did a lot of things we didn't mean and we don't really need or even have to tell anyone. We can just forget this whole thing ever happened. If that's what you would like to do that is? I'm not trying to make you lie to anyone or anything but I guess I'm just saying its probably best for everyone involved.."_

_"It never happened," I said evenly, wishing I could take it back as his face sort of fell for a second. He recovered beautifully though and a winning smile graced his face. _

_"Ok," he agreed, nodding his head. "Friends?" he asked hopefully, his eyes begging for me to say yes.  
"Friends," I said grinning, his hopefulness contagious. Besides, I sure as hell didn't want to go back to us being nothing. I mean a part of me had fallen in love with Ryan. And even though a part of me still loved Troy, I wanted Ryan in my life. I knew that for certain. After all, I had gone far farther with Ryan than I ever had with Troy. You couldn't exactly forget a boy who you were partially in love with and who had seen and touched more of your body than anyone else had, right? _

_"Ella," he said using the nickname that would come to bring out the best and worst of me all at the same time. "You know what friends do?" _

_"What?" I asked, staring into his eyes. They were the color of sea glass right then._

_"They eat breakfast together_."

.o.

I yawn and finally untangle myself from the sheets as Ryan pulls on his slacks. Putting on my lingerie and slipping my dress over my head, I race over to Ryan just as he's pulling his arms through the sleeves of his shirt.

"Let me button it," I say, leaning towards him and effortlessly threading the buttons through the holes.

Ryan rolls his eyes a little and lets his hands fall to his side as I button. "I have never understood your fascination with button-up shirts, Montez," he teases.

I pull him in for a kiss, but he breaks away from me, looking down at his chest.

"You missed a couple buttons," he says with a smirk, buttoning two more up.

"Aw, come one," I pout, unbuttoning one. "At least leave two undone."  
"Fine," he says kissing my forehead. "So long as we find some place with pancakes. Really big stacks of golden brown pancakes. With butter and syrup and honey and coffee. Well not on the pancakes coffee in a mug beside them. Or maybe a pot. Yes a pot would be better."

"Deal," I agree happily shuffling past him to yank on my tights. I had pancakes yesterday, but oh well; surely they'll have other things besides pancakes. I pull on my heels and cardigan and grab my bag. Running my fingers through my hair, I slap on my cap.

"Ready?" I ask Ryan, as I head towards the door.

"Here, Ella," Ryan says, wrapping his green scarf around my neck. "Its gonna be chilly this morning."

I smile sweetly. Does he have to be so damn perfect? It makes leaving so much more difficult.

.o.

_I felt sort of strange wearing the outdated gown from last night with my hair waving around my shoulders. _

_It was a nice sort of strange I supposed. I felt so terribly guilty, yet bold and wild and adventurous. Ryan held my hand as he walked me to his car. And I asked him why. And he replied as he so often did from them on out, "Friends…." Of course this reply ended with "hold hands". He said it quite certainly as if all friends got drunk, almost slept together, then went to got eat breakfast, holding hands like they had done nothing wrong. _

_I tried to forget about Troy as we drove. It wasn't hard to, truthfully. He was probably still asleep under his maroon covers. He slept in so late. That's as far as my thoughts reached Troy, for Ryan sitting beside me, hypnotized me. It was like all I could think about was Ryan. The way he drove stick shift. How old school jazz played on the radio and he scatted right along with it, not caring if I would think he was strange or silly. _

_Of course, I didn't think that. It was actually unbelievably sexy and attractive and even though I was no longer impaired I sure wouldn't have minded sharing a kiss or two with him. Especially since I didn't really remember all the kissing he told me we had done. _

_But hold up a second. Since when had I become this person? It was like sweet little perfect Gabby had flown out the window all in one night and she was replaced by "Ella", a girl who had two boys falling all over her, and she was having her cake and eating it too and she just didn't really care whether one knew and the other didn't and if either one of them were getting hurt in the process.  
Ryan parked in front of a little yellow cottage and hopped out of his car. He walked around to open my door and offered his hand, lifting me off of the cushy black leather seat. _

_"What is this place?" I asked. "Are we going to someone's house?" _

_"No, silly Ella," he chuckled. "This is Aunt Emma's. It's a little breakfast bistro. You've never been here before?" _

_I shook my head no and suddenly became very aware that he was still holding my hand. Oh gosh. Did he have it as bad as me? _

_"Come on," he said as he pulled me inside. "They have huge stacks of pancakes. Mile high. And lots and lot of coffee. You drink coffee right?" _

.o.

Ryan is right. It's so cold. I shiver as we stand outside the hotel, waiting for a cab to come and whisk us away to somewhere warm and full of delicious breakfast smells.

Ryan whistles like a maniac at the corner of the street, eyeing me every so often, looking worried that I'm so cold.

Finally one cab driver notices the desperate look in his eyes and the fierceness of his set jaw, His frustration and irritation is so apparent that anyone in the world could tell getting a cab meant everything in the worlds to him at that moment. The cabbie pulls up to the curb; careful not to spray the water that covers the street all over everyone.

Ryan hustles me in and shuts the door behind the two of us.

"Eugene's," he says, briskly and the cab driver nods knowingly. I guess he doesn't need the address. Must be a place everyone knows about. Funny, that I have absolutely no clue where or what Eugene's is.

I don't ask though. Ryan likes to surprise me. He always has. And well asking where we were going would ruin the surprise now, wouldn't it?

.o.

_I had spent the whole day with Ryan. The whole entire day. After breakfast, we had gone to this comic book museum. I had no idea we even had such a thing but it was fantastic. And then we had eaten lunch on the terrace off the museum. And then we had gone to the park and swung on the swings till dusk. And I had not had this much fun in so long. _

_He had driven me home, walked me to my door, and left me on my porch with a lingering kiss on the cheek and a "Night Ella" in that effortlessly cool voice of his. I watched him as he drove off in his little silver sports car. _

_Sighing, I unlocked the door and walked inside. It was so empty. Why did Mom think it was ok to just leave me home alone when she went off on business trips? Didn't she know that I was afraid of being alone?_

_I walked into the kitchen and listened to the messages on the answering machine._

_"New message. Today. At 12:35 P.M. Hey Gabby. It's Troy. Uh. I just woke up and I just wanted to see how you are and how the party went and everything."_

_"New message. Today. At 2:41 P.M. It's me. Are you there? Are you mad at me or something? Did you want me to come to your party? Is that why you're not picking up the phone? Cause if it is, I'm sorry okay."_

_"New message. Today. At 4:34 P.M. Gabby. I'm getting really worried. If you don't call in the next two hours I'm coming over. Ok."_

_The doorbell rang twenty minutes later. _

_I walked slowly over to the door and opened it. _

_He came flying in like a Tasmanian devil in a fit of anger and adrenaline. _

_"Jesus Christ, Gabriella. I thought you were dead. DEAD! You don't pick up the phone, you don't talk to me. You know you could have at least had the decency to call me and tell me you hated me and didn't want to talk to me. THAT WAY I WOULD KNOW THAT YOU DIDN'T GET RUN OVER BY A CAR OR SOMETHING ON THE WAY HOME FROM THAT STUPID CAST PARTY!" _

_I just stood there and listened to him, yelling and screaming and having a fit. And then I just sort of fell into him and closed my eyes. And he stopped shouting and wrapped his arms around me and then I think I was crying. I was crying and I was soaking his blue sweatshirt and then he was picking me up and carrying me over to the couch and stroking my hair. _

_"I'm sorry," I blubbered meaning that I was sorry for everything. Everything he knew and everything he didn't. _

_"It's ok," he murmured, kissing the top of my head and holding me tight._

_He didn't seem to want an explanation so I didn't give him one. _

_"Stay the night please," I said, snuggling into his chest. _

_He seemed a little taken aback and I could feel him tense beneath me. "Well, ok, I guess. You don't want to uh?" _

_"No," I had interjected. "I just don't want to be alone." _

_He nodded slowly as if things finally made sense to him and replied, "Yeah, all right. I'll just call my mom and tell her I'm staying at Chad's." _

_"Thanks," I whispered. _

_"No problem. You know I'd do anything for you. Anything."_

_"I know," I answered forlornly. And I'd do anything. Anything at all to stop from breaking all three of our fragile hearts._

.o.

**So this was pretty rushed but I really wanted to get another chapter out since it's been so long. So I hope you enjoyed it beside that fact.**

**Oh and the song I mentioned at the beginning of the chapter is Hello Sunshine by Super Furry Animals in case anyone was wondering.**

**Thanks for reading! **


	8. Eugene's

**Affaire De Coeur**

.o.

**I know you're all dying to know how everything ends up but I just keep dragging this out. Enjoy.**

.o.

Eugene's is alive and bustling as Ryan and I step through the threshold and into the street corner establishment. People are everywhere, dressed in grays, and blacks, and blues, and whites. One little girl wears a bright yellow rain jacket and it stands out like a sore thumb against all the other muted colors.

A piano sits in one corner, sleek and black, and a man dressed in a velvet purple suit with a silk white tie rests at ease on the bench. His fingers fly over the keys so quick and so lightly and the sounds that flow out of it are colorful and merry and bright and staccato.

"That's Eugene," Ryan says with a grin, pointing to the eccentric, African-American man at the piano. "We go way back."

Ryan takes hold of my hand and leads me over to the piano. Ry closes his eyes and listens to the music, tapping his foot to the beat as he waits for Eugene to finish. I wait patiently as well.

Eugene comes to a close and opens his eyes. He doesn't seem shocked to see us. It's as if he knows we've been here all along.

"Evans, my man," Eugene cries out sliding off the bench and grabbing Ryan's hand, shaking it vigorously. "What brings you here? It's been a while."

"It has," Ryan says with a grin. "Good to see you Eugene. This is Ella." He gestures towards me.

"Pleased to meet you, Ella baby," he says warmly kissing my hand.

I smile radiantly and reply, "You too, Eugene."

Eugene's eyes almost pop out of his head as I speak. Puzzled, I'm sure I throw him a strange look.

"Your voice," he begins slowly. "It's so smooth but not too buttery, more like _syrup_! Do you sing?"

I shake my head no, and begin to speak, but Ryan cuts in. "She does, and beautifully at that."

"Well we must play a little something, us three," Eugene says, eyes twinkling at the prospect of this musical venture.

"I don't know; I haven't sang for quite some time," I protest, feeling my throat close up at the idea of belting a song in front of all these people.

"Oh come a-wnnn, Ella suga," he exclaims. "Just one lil song is all."

"Yeah, come one, Ella," Ryan says with a chuckle and a reassuring smile.

He and Eugene slide onto the bench and they whisper to themselves for a few minutes.

"How's about…_How Sweet It Is_? You know that one Ella darlin'?"

.o.

_Winter. It came so soon. And I was as messed up as ever. _

_I found myself living my life as two people. I was the same old trustworthy, accountable Gabriella to my parents, my friends, my teachers, Troy. And then I was Ella with Ryan. I was sexy, I was clever, I was daring, and I was free. _

_Ryan was my friend. And Troy was my boyfriend. And it remained that way all through December, much to my surprise. I thought I would screw up. I thought Ryan would. But it didn't happen. Sure, Ryan and I spent a lot of time together. More than we should have. But Troy knew we were friends. And if he had sensed any chemistry, any history, he never said a word. He either ignored it or was completely oblivious. I never knew which. _

_Ryan and I remained good little children. We never crossed the line. We got close. But we never crossed it. _

_There were little touches, little gestures. There were hugs and cheek-kisses. There were our eyes and the way we breathed around each other. But we never got caught. We flirted a hell of a lot. At least when Troy wasn't around. _

_Much to my horror, Troy befriended Ryan soon after the play, wanting the three of us to be able to hang out. At first, it was sort of fake, but soon they bonded over video games and vintage baseball cards. I would see them talking in the halls and I would cringe as they laughed over some joke. I loved them both and it just made things worse that they had to be friends. _

_And then winter break came. And me and Ryan screwed up. _

_Troy was traveling to Colorado for the two weeks off, spending the holidays with his father's side of the family. And Ryan and I. We weren't going anywhere. And I sort of wished we were. _

_Troy left Friday night. Ryan and I went with him to the airport. He hugged Ryan and ruffled his hair, "Later, man. You take care of her, huh?" And Ryan smiled and nodded and patted his shoulder. "Have fun, man." And I cringed. They were practically best friends. Troy and Chad didn't really talk much anymore and I found myself somewhat missing Chad being around. Well, not really, but you know._

_And then he turned to me and he kissed me long and drawn out and I hated it because Ryan was right there and he hated it and I could see him cringing. _

"_Bye, Gabriella. I'll miss you," he whispered to me, stroking my hair.  
"I'll miss you too," I said dutifully. Because I still loved him. I really did. Just not completely. _

_And then he turned and as he walked, he waved until he couldn't see us anymore. And we waved back until we couldn't see him anymore. _

_And then it was just me and Ryan. And we were in trouble. _

.o.

"Uh, yeah," I say regretfully.

"Solid," Eugene says and he and Ryan's hands start skimming over the keys and now I'm supposed to sing.

I start a little shaky but I don't sound half bad.

_Needed the shelter of someone's arms and there you were_

_Needed someone to understand my ups and downs and there you were_

_With sweet love and devotion; gently touching my emotions_

Ryan notices my nervousness and joins me at the chorus and Eugene chimes in as well. I'm jiving and feeling good with the three of us singing.

_I wanna stop and thank you baby_

_I just wanna stop and thank you baby_

_Ohhhhh how sweet it is to be loved by you_

_How sweet it is to be loved by you_

Then they both suddenly drop out and leave me alone again for the verse.

_I close my eyes at night_

_Wonderin' where would I be without you in my life_

_Everything I did was such a bore_

_Everywhere I went, you know I been there before_

_But you brightened up for me all of my days _

_With a love so sweet in so many ways_

I'm more confident now, but feel better every time the chorus come around, knowing I won't be alone.

_How sweet it is to be loved by you_

_I mean it's like powerful don't you know, to be loved by you_

_How sweet it is to be loved by you_

_How sweet it is to be loved by you_

The song ends soon enough and to my astonishment the whole diner erupts into applause.

Glowing with pleasure and a bit of embarrassment, I bow along with Eugene and Ryan.

Soon everyone goes back to his or her business. And Eugene hugs me quickly. "I knew your voice would be fresh," he says gleefully.

.o.

_"Now what?" Ryan asked playfully, grinning as he inched closer to me and wrapped his arm around my shoulders. _

_"We go home," I said solemnly and I shrugged away from him, walking towards the exit. He skipped along beside me, careful not to get to close. _

_I stomped over to the bench. For some reason I was angry. Maybe because as soon as Troy left Ryan had made such a friendly move. Or maybe because as soon as Troy left Ryan had made such a friendly move and now I wanted to kiss him. _

_I sat down and Ryan sat next to me. We were silent for a while. _

_After ten minutes, Ryan said, "The bus should be here in five."_

_I nodded and we went back to being silent. _

_The bus pulled up after exactly five minutes. And I hated how right he was. _

_We boarded and I clanked all the way to the back and Ryan followed. _

_I sat and Ryan sat next to me. I was getting a little sick of this. _

_Ryan sighed long and heavy. "Ella, what's wrong?"_

_Ella. Must he use that name. I felt like crying._

_"I just don't want anything to happen," I said slowly and surely._

_"Between us?" Ryan questioned evenly._

_"Yeah."_

_"Well then it won't," he replied, shrugging down in his seat and crossing his arms over his chest. He said it like he had been thinking about it happening but now that he knew I didn't want to, he'd dropped the idea. _

_"Ok," I said and closed my eyes. It was nine in the evening and I was exhausted from school and from men and from life._

.o.

_I woke up to find I had somehow managed to wrap both my arms around Ryan and had rested my head on his chest. He was sleeping too and his hands snaked around my waist._

_I carefully slid out from under him and managed to do so without waking him up. Thank the lord. _

_The bus came to a halt soon after and I was feeling a little better. Subconsciously, Ryan and I had got rid of a little sexual tension. And we couldn't exactly feel guilty about that because we didn't know what we were doing, right?_

_"Ryan," I hissed into his ear. _

_His eyes fluttered open slowly and they were so blue, that they glowed in the dark and I had never resented his eyes so much. I just wanted to curl up in a ball in his lap and never get off the bus. _

_"Huh-what?" he asked groggily, stretching his long, lean arms over his head. _

_"We're here," I said, standing up and tapping my foot impatiently as he rose up off the bus bench and shuffled towards me so sluggishly you'd think he'd been drinking. _

_Finally after what seemed like forever, we were off and walking towards my house. _

_After a good fifteen minutes, we reached the front door and he was still so sleepy that he almost walked inside with me. _

_"Ryan," I sung out to him. "You don't live here, buddy." _

_He grinned sheepishly and shrugged his shoulders apologetically. "Sorry, I'm just so tired." _

_"I know. Good night," I said a little shortly because I really wanted to just say, "Oh how about you just stay the night, you can sleep on the couch, or maybe my bed." _

_"Good night," he said, eyelids drooping as he leaned forward to kiss my cheek. Except he didn't aim high enough and his lips came down on my neck. He lingered a little, like he always did and he pulled away with a slight chuckle. _

_"Sorry," he mumbled. "I'll call you." And then he left. And I was worried that he'd fall asleep on his way home. _

.o.

Ryan walks over to me smiling and wraps an arm around my waist.

"Told you she could sing," he says with a grin.

"I knew she could," Eugene says happily. "I am so glad the two of you stopped by. You brought some color." He pats my red cap and tugs on Ryan's green scarf. "Now how's about the three of us grab some grub?"

We follow Eugene over to the counter and we slip into three stools side by side.

Eugene ushers a waiter over. "Get this man a pot!" he cries and Ryan laughs.

"You know me too well," he chuckles.

"Damn straight," he says matter-of-factly.

"So how do you two know each other?" I ask curiously.

Eugene slaps his knee and laughs long and loud. "I was his music professor in college, and he was such a teacher's pet. Always staying after class, asking for my advice you know. Then one night he asked me out to dinner and of course my response was, 'Ryan I do not swing that way'."

They both pause to laugh and then Ryan picks up the story.  
"So I replied, 'Of course not Professor Collins, I'm engaged to a _woman_' and so we go to dinner and we talk about music and everything there is to talk about. And he mentions to me that he wants to open a café, where he can just play music to people and not have to teach or be restricted."

Eugene butts in: "And Ryan thought it was a wond-a-ful idea and so that's how Eugene's and our friendship came to be."

"I don't remember you being at the wedding," I say with a frown.

Eugene becomes very somber and says, "Well, quite frankly, my dear, I didn't approve."

Ryan nods and says, "Eugene and Bridget never really got along."

"Oh," I say quietly.

"But you know, that's all in the past and this here's the future," Eugene says with an alls-forgotten smile.

.o.

_Christmas Eve. It came quickly. We had spent the week before that together quite a lot. Playing in the snow, seeing holiday movies, baking, and wrapping gifts. _

_And then Christmas Eve came. And things happened. Not so good things._

_There was a Christmas Eve party at the Evans' manor and I arrived early wearing an emerald green frock, my hair pulled back in a sophisticated bun._

_It was five o' clock and the party started at seven, but Ryan had asked me to come early and I obliged. _

_I crept up the spiral staircase and tiptoed towards Ryan's door, not wanting Sharpay to find me there early. She always smirked at me knowingly, like she knew that Ryan and I had something going on. Not that we did, but it was like she knew what we had done and what we tried so desperately not to do. _

_I knocked on the door quietly. "Come in!" Ryan called out._

_I walked in to find Ryan standing in front of the mirror, buttoning up a black silk shirt. _

_"Hey," he said warmly, smiling. _

_He turned around and his eyes danced at the sight of me. "You look great, Ella." _

_"Thanks," I said shyly. "So do you." _

_"You wanna help me with my tie?" he asked, holding up a matching black tie. _

_I shook my head yes and walked towards him taking the tie from his hand. I turned up his collar and he smelled so delicious. He always seemed to wear the most intoxicating cologne. Maybe if Troy wore something half as seductive I wouldn't be as terribly attracted to Ryan. _

_Wrapping my arms around his neck to drape the tie around him, we were too close. Oh why did I agree to this? I could feel the muscles in his back. Oh gosh. _

_The door swung open and we turned our heads to find Sharpay in the doorframe, smirking that stupid smirk. _

_"Well aren't we cozy," she sung out. _

_I quickly removed my hands from around Ryan's neck and fixed the tie quickly and efficiently. _

_"She was just helping me with my tie, Shar," Ryan said eyes rolling. He shrugged his sports jacket on and walked out the door, charging past Sharpay, an angry glint in his eyes. _

_I began to follow him, but Sharpay wouldn't let me through the door. "Stop leading him on, Ella," she called me "Ella" so condescendingly, I thought acid would spew from her perfectly pink glossed lips. "He's in love with you. And we both know you're never gonna give up Troy. So just stop making him love you. You're just hurting him." _

_Her eyes glared into me and then she stepped to the side, allowing me to pass through. I raced down the stairs, heels clicking and found Ryan sitting on the couch._

_He looked a little sad, his head hung down and his arms hung limply at his side in his hunched over position. _

_I sat down next to him and patted his back cautiously. "You ok, Ry?"_

_"Yeah," he said, sitting up straight. "Sorry I stormed out of there. She just pisses me off."_

_"I know. It's ok," I said soothingly. _

_He sighed and stuck his hand in the huge bowl full of red and green colored M&Ms and poured at least twenty in his mouth. _

_"Got enough chocolate there, Ry?" I teased. _

_He shook his head and chewed. "I'm sorry, did you want some?" _

_"Sure," I said and opened my mouth wide. "Not too much, though."_

_"Sure," he said, before unleashing thirty M&Ms down my throat. _

_"Ryan!" I cried through a mouthful of the candies. _

_He chuckled long and loud. _

_"What's so hilarious?" Sharpay asked icily as she settled herself on the sofa across from the one Ryan and I sat on. _

_"Nothing of your concern," Ryan replied coldly. _

_"Fine," Sharpay said coolly. _

_"Come one, Ella, let's go somewhere else," Ryan said taking my hand and leading me out the room. _

_As we left the room, Sharpay's brown eyes pierced into mine menacingly as if she was warning me not to let anything happen._

.o.

_Ryan and I sat outside by the pool, watching the guests arrive at the back of the house and walk towards the front door. _

_"What do you want for Christmas, Ry?" I asked him._

_I could've sworn he sang "All I Want For Christmas Is You" under his breath. "Nothing really in particular. How about you?"_

_"Nothing really, either." _

_"We should go inside," Ryan said, dusting off his pants and standing up. I followed suit, smoothing down my dress. _

_He held out the crook of his arm and I took it as we walked around the side of the house towards the front door. We walked through the threshold to find Sharpay front and center, greeting all the guests with a charmingly arrogant smile. _

_"Oh, well look who finally decided to come inside," she said breezily. "And under the mistletoe at that," she added with an evil smile, almost daring me not to kiss him. "You can't deny mistletoe you know."_

_Ryan sighed and leaned in to kiss my cheek, but not wanting to give Sharpay the satisfaction, I took his face in my hands and pressed my lips against his. I kissed forcefully and passionately and Ryan reacted the same, eagerly. _

_I pulled away slowly, to find a shocked look on Sharpay's face. HA! She hadn't thought I would do it. _

_Throwing her a withering glare, I stomped into the spacious living area, towards where else? The bathroom. And I could here her, following me. _

_I ran into the bathroom and locked the door. She pounded and pounded on the door, but I just stayed quiet. Soon enough, the door flew open, and in came a furious Sharpay. _

_"How did you-"_

_"Key." _

_"Oh."_

_"Why the hell did you kiss him?"_

_"You told me too."_

_"You slut. Did you see what you did to him? He almost keeled over after you frenched the hell out of him. And now he's gonna have to live with not being able to do that. You are such a selfish, little bitch."_

_Who knew Sharpay was so protective of him? Even when they weren't getting along. _

_He didn't have to live without it for long._

.o.

**So I know I need to be updating my other stories more than this one, but this just poured out of me. Hope you liked it!**


	9. Countdown

**Affaire De Coeur**

**.o.**

**So I got completely carried away with flashbacks in this chapter, making this chapter mostly past, not present, but I hope you'll enjoy it.**

**.o.**

"You mean the present?" Ryan asks, clearly confused by Eugene's words.

"Nope," Eugene says with a wink in my direction. "This here's the future."

.o.

_Ryan arrived at my house at exactly eight o' clock on New Year's Eve. We were going to a party at the Hilton Hotel in New Mexico that a wealthy girl in our class named Bridget Bennison was having. _

_I stood waiting for him in the foyer of my home and I watched through the peephole as he scaled up the walkway to my front door. He looked absolutely stunning in a dark brown suit and skinny maroon tie. Every inch of him was perfectly put together except for his hair which was still damp from his shower and was drying all over the place in the sexiest bed head style that you could possibly imagine. As he drew near, I stepped sharply away from the door. _

_I waited, holding my breath, for him to ring the doorbell, for this night to begin. I was both nervous and excited. Who knew what would come out of this evening? Nothing else had happened in the last week except for the mistletoe kiss. But under such a romantic and careless night as New Year's Eve, I was both wishing something would happen, and at the same time wishing something would not._

_He rapped at the door briefly and before he could ring the bell, I swung the door open. _

_"Gabriella," he said rather formally. We had been a little awkward around each other since the kiss. I could tell that Ryan felt positively awful about it, especially now that he and Troy were good friends. But he hadn't been calling me Ella. And it was killing me. _

_"Ryan," I said just as stiffly. He tugged at his tie in a nervous manner and held out his arm. I took it graciously. It would be the first time we had touched in days. _

_He walked me to his car and tucked me into my seat before returning to his, as he always did. _

_We drove in silence for a few minutes and then I could not stand it anymore. "Ryan?"_

_"Mhmm," he replied, eyes steady on the road, all of his focus on driving. _

_"I miss you."_

_His eyebrows furrowed in confusion. "What do you mean? I'm right here." _

_"But you're not," I said softly. "This whole week, you haven't been here. I feel like we're complete strangers. The way you look at me, it's like you don't even know me. You don't make jokes. You don't touch me."_

_"You know I want to touch you," he said quietly, still not looking at me. _

_Taken aback by his honesty, I didn't say anything the rest of the drive._

.o.

A waitress in a teal apron prances up to the edge of the counter and places a shiny silver pot of coffee in front of Ryan along with an oversized coffee cup that appears to have his initials on it.

I laugh and take the coffee cup from in front of him, examining it. "You don't seriously have your own special cup?"

Eugene laughs along with me and Ryan blushes a light pink. "Eugene insisted not me," Ryan claims childishly.

"The boy speaks the truth," Eugene says with a grin. "I got sick of him downing the cup in five seconds so I sent him to a pottery class and told him to construct his ideal coffee cup."

"And I felt like a complete idiot taking time out of work to go construct said cup in a suit and tie," Ryan says with an embarrassed laugh.

I smile and take in the image of Ryan at a pottery wheel, sleeves pushed up, fair skin covered in gray clay, a look of determination on his face, maybe even the tip of his tongue poking out. It paints a rather adorable picture.

Ryan pours a generous amount of coffee into his mug and takes a long drink.

While Ryan is absorbed in his coffee, I catch Eugene staring at me, and I wonder why he has such a far off look on his gently smiling face.

.o.

_We arrived at the Hilton by 8:30. Bridget stood at the door, greeting her guests in a black frock that looked completely fabulous on her. Looking down at my midnight blue dress, I felt plain in comparison. _

_Ryan held my arm gallantly as we walked up the steps towards the entrance to the hotel. _

_"Gabriella," Bridget said faux sweetly. The girl had never liked me. Ever since the fourth grade for some reason. I had never really figured out why. _

_"Ryan!" she said warmly. "I'm so glad you could make it." She did that stupid flirty smoldering of the eyes as if she thought he was the hottest boy alive. Which in my book he was, but I never knew that Bridget thought so. And truthfully it made my blood boil. _

_She touched his arm and giggled. "You have fun in there. And save a dance for me, maybe even a-" she whispered the rest into Ryan's ear, her lips practically on his ear. _

_He blushed a little and grabbed my hand, yanking me inside before he could fully become red in front of her. _

_"What did she say?" I asked as nonchalantly as possible but with a hint of desperation I'm sure. _

_"Why do you want to know?" Ryan asked a little frostily, but a little teasingly as well. _

_"I don't particularly want to. Just curious. That's all," I said as I smiled at a boy in my math class as we walked through the halls of the hotel heading who knows where._

_"More like jealous," Ryan replied, with a grin. I didn't know if the smile was for me or someone passing by us in the hall. I hoped it was for me. _

_"Yeah right," I scoffed, forcing a laugh. _

_Ryan continued to grin off into space and I wanted to know what he was thinking, what was so funny, wonderful, amazing! I wanted nothing more than to know what she had said to him. _

_"Where are we going?" I asked impatiently. He was still dragging me around through halls and up flights of stairs. _

_"To where the main party is," Ryan replied. "Bridget is holding all the main festivities in the big ballroom on the top floor."_

_Bridget. Argh. With her perfect little nose, and her long silky red hair and her money. Bridget's parents were as rich, maybe even richer than the Evans. And I was already imagining Bridget and Ryan getting married and having perfect little red-haired, blue-eyed children. Ironically enough, half of my biggest nightmare would come true in a matter of a few years._

.o.

The waitress comes skipping back up to us, a small yellow lined pad in her hand and gives a real big smile. She must be new to New York. Not so many people are so happy and cheerful as her. It's rather refreshing.

"Hi, I'm Lucy. What can I get you this morning?" she asks in a sing-song voice.

Eugene gestures towards Ryan and I as if to say he doesn't care for anything and we should order.

"I'll have an English muffin with strawberry jam," I tell Lucy with a polite smile.

Ryan orders a ginormous stack of blueberry pancakes and Lucy grins and nods, skipping back into the kitchen to place our orders.

Eugene suddenly turns towards Ryan and asks, "Would you mind if we spoke for a minute? Privately?"

Ryan frowns and looks over at me as if he's angry that Eugene is trying to dismiss me. I smile graciously and hop off of my stool. Whatever Eugene has to say it must be important. And it must have something to do with me. I am of course intrigued. I want to know what he's going to say. But I leave. What else can I do? "Go ahead. I'll just move over here." I pat Ryan's right hand that rests on the counter top and walk over to the grand piano, settling myself on the shiny bench.

.o.

_Ryan flung open the doors to the large room and it was complete chaos. The room was dark but bright colored lights shone and spun around the space like a disco ball. Loud music pumped from every corner of the room and food and drinks were everywhere. A huge screen had been hung upon the back wall and whatever channel they were showing Times Square on was displayed upon it. People were everywhere, standing, sitting, kissing, dancing, hugging, eating, drinking. The party looked fantastic and I hated Bridget for making it so fantastic. _

_Ryan led me over to a red sofa and we both sunk into it. _

_"Ryan, please tell me," I said quietly. _

_He laughed and finally looked me in the eyes. They were dark, full of pleasure and mirth. I preferred it to the sad eyes he had displayed all week. "Gabriella, for once you are jealous and quite frankly I am going to enjoy it." _

_I pouted my lips and sunk down low in my chair. Tell me! I wanted to screech at him. But more than that I wanted to scream. MY NAME IS ELLA!_

_"Fine," I said petulantly. "But I'm not going to just sit here and let you revel in it." _

_Ryan chuckled. "I didn't expect you too."_

_I glared at him, leapt off the sofa, and started to stalk towards the drinks table. I didn't get very far alone. _

_Ryan was soon beside me. He wrapped an arm around my waist as we walked as if I belonged to him. I couldn't believe him. After all this awkwardness and then him not telling me what Bridget said, he was seriously here holding me like I was his. I shrugged away from him and grabbed a soda, popping it open and taking a short swig. _

_Ryan, with a look of amusement upon his face, seemed not at all miffed by my moving away from him. He chose a can of cream soda, cautiously opened it, and took a long, luxurious drink causing my eyes to watch his gleaming white throat and his Adam's apple bob up and down. He was so evil. He knew how attractive his neck was and here he was just showing it off like..like some cocky fool. _

_"I," I began furiously. "I…I hate you!" I hissed. _

_He smiled roguishly. "I love you."_

_I made a rather annoyed noise and stomped towards the one place he couldn't follow me to. The ladies room._

.o.

I stare down at the glossy keys and try not to look back at them. I mean if they caught me spying; how embarrassing. But I really wanted to know what Eugene was saying to him.

After a minute, I could hardly stand not knowing. I slowly turned my head to the side and glanced back at the pair of them, sitting at the counter. Ryan's eyes looked sad, but the words coming out of his mouth were rapid and angry it seemed. It looked as if he were spitting the words out of his mouth.

I couldn't see Eugene's face but he seemed calm and at ease.

Their actions just puzzled me further and I wanted to fling my head on the piano keys dramatically and send the harsh and frustrated sounds all over the café.

.o.

_I flung myself on the fancy settee in the middle of the restroom and huffed. _

_"You look peeved," Bridget said sarcastically as she turned away from the mirror and smiled graciously as if she loved that I was angry. She walked over and sat down beside me. _

_"I am," I said insolently. "He's such an ass."_

_"Ryan?" she questioned, her eyes sparkling at the mere mention of him. _

_"Yes. He's so… ARGH!"_

_"What did he do?" she asked inquisitively. _

_Well I couldn't very well tell her that most of it had to do with me desperately wanting to know what she had whispered to him and his REFUSING to tell me. "Oh he can just be so…withholding," I said choosing my words carefully. _

_"Really," Bridget said grinning. "Sounds like my kind of man." I swear she licked her perfect full lips. _

_"Oh he isn't," I said quickly. Too quickly._

_She eyed me with a sense of amusement. "You're still with Troy aren't you?" _

_"Yes," I answered grudgingly. So what if I was?_

_"Where is he tonight?" she asked rhetorically as we exited the bathroom as if she sensed my more than friendly feelings towards Ryan and was warning me._

_"So he waits for you by the water fountains," she whispered enviously into my ear before stalking off in the opposite direction. _

_I whipped around to find Ryan banging on the silver machine in frustration, his mouth poised above the spicket as he tried to drink from an invisible stream of water. He wasn't having much luck and he looked so god damn adorable that I was unable to stay angry a moment longer. _

_"What are you doing here?" I asked flatly. _

_"Well waiting for you to emerge from the ladies room, of course," he said with a crooked smile. "I don't really need this broken fountain to work," he added gesturing to the soda can that perched on top of the device. _

_"You're so…I don't know," I said bitterly unable to think of anything clever to say. _

_"Now you don't really hate me. Do you?" he asked with an impish grin. "Because that would make me loving you a bit ridiculous." _

_Where was all this coming from? All these suggestive smiles and l words being tossed around. It was so unlike him. _

_"Are you drunk?" _

_He laughed. "No. I'm just sick of repressing myself. Fuck Troy and his fucking feelings. He doesn't desire you like I do. He doesn't need-want-crave-yearn for you as I do. He doesn't love you like he should."_

_He stepped towards me and kissed my neck, his left hand pressing into the small of my back._

_Barely able to concentrate, I managed to whisper into his ear between gasping breaths, "Do you want us to get caught?" _

_He removed his hand and his lips. "I'm sorry," he said._

_I merely nodded, offering a forgiving smile and allowed him to lead me back into the ballroom. _

.o.

After a minute or two, I hear someone walking towards me. Is it Ryan?

I whip my head around to find Eugene smiling broadly, ambling down the wooden floor, and heading my way.

Soon he is at the piano and sliding on to the bench next to me.

"So you're the infamous Ella?" he whispers into my ear.

"You're the one he truly loves. Honey, I've been on your side since forever," he continues much to my surprise.

.o.

_We spent the rest of the evening eating, talking, and frantically trying to keep our hands off each other. Ryan had put us both in a lustful funk with that kiss and we were both positively squirming._

_And then at 11:50, Bridget pranced up to us, wide smile on her face. _

_"Ryan, may I have this dance?" she asked flirtatiously, holding one thin golden hand out in front of him. _

_He graced her with a winning smile and accepted her hand. "I'll be right back," he whispered to me before following her into the middle of the ballroom. _

_How dare she! Stealing away Ryan ten minutes before midnight. Ryan and I were supposed to ring in the New Year together. Not that we could really ring it in appropriately what with the fact that millions of eyes would be upon us and well they all knew quite well where Troy and I stood. But still. That witch. I would now be forced to sit here, watch them slow dance for ten minutes and then look on as Bridget planted her bright red lips upon Ryan's as confetti shot out of the ceiling. _

_My fists clenched the fabric on the velvety red sofa cushion as I watched them slow dance in time to the music. _

_It seemed they danced forever. It was 11:53, 55, 56, 58._

_My heart caught in my throat as the clock struck 11:59. I would be ringing in the New Year miserable and alone. _

_Sixty. Fifty. Forty. Everyone was chanting, counting down till midnight. But my lips couldn't move, I couldn't speak. I could only watch Ryan and Bridget dancing so beautifully together, a perfect fit. _

_Thirty. Ryan was speaking to her in a low hushed manner and her eyes were widening and gripping onto his neck tighter. _

_Twenty. He was looking apologetic and was begging with his eyes and her eyes were flashing with anger and she seemed defiant. _

_Ten. He dropped his hands from her waist. _

_Nine. He removed her hands from around his neck. _

_Eight. His eyes connected with mine. _

_Seven. Six. Five. Four. He pivoted, walking in my direction. _

_Three. He reached me and in one swift motion had me on my feet, standing in front of him. _

_Two. His eyes twinkled disobediently and apologetically at the same time as he pressed his body against mine._

_One. His hands took hold of my face, his nimble fingers cool against my flushed cheeks. _

_Zero. His lips pressed against mine in the most dangerously delicious kiss. _

_And Bridget was left miserable and alone in the middle of the dance floor, watching us kiss. The only one watching us kiss luckily, as everyone else was too absorbed in his or her partner to notice. _

_But Bridget noticed. Oh did she notice. And when I opened my eyes and looked towards her, she wore the most disgusted look upon her face. You would of thought we were related or something the way her face turned pale and weary, as if she were about to puke all over her expensive little black dress. _

**.o.**

**So wow those were like the shortest present scenes ever. Lol But I had a lot of fun writing all of these ridiculously lengthy flashback scenes. I'm afraid the night isn't even over in Past New Years Land. I'm having too much fun. Hope you don't mind. I just can't seem to stop writing this story. Lol**


	10. One Word

**Affaire De Coeur**

**.o.**

**I apologize profusely for my lengthy absence. I never intended for it to stretch so long but unfortunately it did and all I can do is hope that you'll forgive me and that you'll continue to enjoy this story despite no new updates for several months. I'm so sorry! **

**.o.**

I closed my eyes and forgot about Bridget. And _I saw stars. Rows and rows of perfect, twinkling, shiny, silvery stars as I closed my eyes and allowed Ryan to kiss me longer than I intended. But goddamn it I wasn't giving up this chance to be this free, kissing him. It was wildly exciting. To be kissing Ryan in front of hundreds of people when I shouldn't be. And no one was even seeing it! I writhed with pleasure. _

_He pulled away a few minutes later, when most of the kisses were done and the cheering and hooting and hollering had begun. And he seemed grim. And I was puzzled. I was truly and utterly confused. Hadn't he wanted to kiss me? _

_I stared at his face and saw that his jaw was rigid and his cheeks sunken in as if he were biting his tongue rather hard and his mouth was so tight. And I felt so awful that I adapted the same expression. God! Was he angry with me? _

_His eyes locked with mine once more and when he saw my face, his changed. His eyes opened wider and brighter and his mouth seemed to loosen and without a word he took my hand and dragged me like a child through the throngs of people until we were out of the ballroom and into the striped wallpapered hallway. _

_He let go of my hand and leaned against the wall, looking defeated. "What are we doing?" he asked helplessly as he let go of all his strength and sunk to the floor. _

_I didn't expect such a vulnerable question. I shrugged and walked slowly over to him and sat in front of him, cross-legged, not caring that I was in a dress and it was most likely very indecent of me to sit in such a position when wearing a skirt. _

_"I," I began cautiously. "I don't know." _

_"I don't either," he replied. His brow creasing, he loosened his tie and ran his hand through his feathery hair, making it stand up on end in a maniacal fashion. His eyes matched his wild hairstyle. "Honestly," he began his throat constricting. "All I know as of this very moment," he gulped. "Is that I want you." _

_I closed my eyes at the very words and let them sink in. He wanted me and I wanted him and Troy wanted me. I could be strong. Right? As long as he didn't go and say something even crazier than his last statement, I could calmly ask him back into the ballroom and we could just pretend we had never kissed and he had never said that. Right? Right. _

_"Ella?" The name tumbled from between his full red lips, affectionate and almost scared, pleading me to respond. _

_He'd finally said it. He'd said my name. My eyes filled with tears of happiness and relief. And I crawled into his lap and took his face in my hands and kissed him._

_Oh why did he have to go and call me Ella? _

.o.

My mouth drops. Did he just say what I thought he said? And with such wisdom and ease? As if he had been waiting all this time to match a face with this woman Ryan talked to him about. He was on my side. Without even having ever met me, without truly knowing me. The line ran through my head. I've been on your side since forever. He is on my side.

I am speechless. How do I respond to this? "Well, oh," I manage to get out. My throat feels very dry and I wish I had an ice-cold glass of water before me.

"You make his so happy," Eugene muses, staring out the windows as if this conversation is as normal as talking about the weather. "He doesn't look so white, ya know? It's like he glows when you're around him. Like he's finally alive."

I nod meekly still unable to say anything.

"I mean I always thought he seemed happier when he just _talked_ about you. But baby, it's you. He's so crazy about you. Always has been. And he just thinks he can never have you. But he can. And you can have him. And I, I believe y'all gonna work it out. At least you better. Or y'all two gonna lead two lonely separate lives. And y'all ain't ever gonna be happy."

.o.

_"Say it again," I purred, pressing my cheek to his chest, my arms wound around him tightly._

_"Ella?" he says, questioningly. "Say what again?" _

_I sigh happily and bury my head into the nook between his neck and shoulder. "Ella. You haven't said it in ages," I mumble, my voice high-pitched and girlish. _

_Without even looking I could tell he was smiling. "I was trying not to say it you know," he confides lazily. "But it proved to be rather difficult. I found myself saying el… before many words. I sounded crazy every time I opened my mouth," he chuckled softly. "The term had become habitual." _

_I smiled broadly; thrilled to hear how it was as awful for him not saying Ella as it was for me not hearing it. _

_"Let's go somewhere," I suggested. "You know, private. I just wanna get out of here. You're the only person who matters to me at this party. I just wanna spend time with you." Wow, I hadn't meant to sound so needy and desperate. _

_"Okay," he answered simply, carefully placing his hands on my stocking-covered thighs and pulling me up off the carpeted floor with him. "Let's get a room." _

_My eyes widened in shock and I felt my bottom lip unglue from my upper lip._

_He laughed in a carefree and easy manner. He was more relaxed, joking about our unfortunate situation, not being so serious about it. "Not in that sense, unless you know, you wanna "do it"," he emphasized, grinning good-naturedly. Feeling extra silly, he ran a cool hand down my arm as if he was trying to seduce me with his feather light touch. _

_I followed up with my usual self-righteous scolding "RYAN!" _

_And he laughed, loving his name rolling off my tongue in such a playful, yet chiding tone. _

_"Come on, Ella. We can just talk, you know, like you wanted. We could even stay the night. I'll sleep on the floor or maybe the foldout couch if we spring for a fancy suite. I mean, your mom's out of town anyway, and Troy won't be back for a couple of days. No harm done." _

_No harm done? Yeah, right. _

_"Okay," I agreed. _

.o.

I give Eugene a quick nod and a somber face.

"Oh honey, I don't wanna upset you," Eugene says. "I just think that you need some reality, ya know."

I nod again, this time feigning a smile.

Eugene grins back. "Much better. A beautiful girl like you should smile all the time. Now come one let's go on back to Mista Evans."

I take Eugene's strong arm and allow him to lead me back to the bar.

.o.

_Ryan's daddy's credit card had never come in handy as much as it did that night. With a swipe of his father's black AmEx card, a suite was booked under Mr. Ryan Evans. It was all so glamorous and grown up. Not to mention immensely satisfying to imagine what Bridget would do if she knew we were planning to stay the night in the hotel, together, just the two of us._

_Ryan waggled his eyebrows at me as he picked the key up off the glass counter and held out his arm. I gladly accepted with a roll of my eyes, and we made our way to our room. _

_The suite opened up revealing a living area complete with what looked to be a foldout couch and a "kitchen" section that was basically just a dining table and chairs. Further in was the bedroom with a king size bed and obviously the bathroom. _

_"Alright; the tie's coming off!" Ryan exclaimed loosening the maroon tie even more than he had earlier and then attempting to yank it over his head. _

_I giggled. "So impatient," I teased walking towards him and taking off his tie for him._

_"Yes," he agreed. "And thank you." _

_"Your welcome," I said. _

_A moment of silence ensued and feeling awkward just standing before him, I walked over and sat on the edge of the bed. I really wanted to get the heck out of my dress and wished I had for some reason decided to stuff pajamas into my purse. _

_Ryan sighed, walked over to the closet, and opened the white double doors. "Hey look, PJs!" _

_My eyes brightened and I leapt off the bed and ran to his side. "SERIOUSLY!"_

_"Yeah! Look," he pointed to the white button-up sleepwear that hung on a golden hanger. _

_"Take 'em!" he urged snatching the clothes and placing them in my hands. _

_"Ya sure?" I asked wanting to be polite, but knowing he would be sure._

_"Oh yeah. Sure. I mean this is a heck of a lot more comfortable than a dress, I'm sure," he said gesturing to his dark suit. "Not that I would know. I've never worn a dress, but um yeah. You take them." _

_"Okay," I said edging towards the bathroom. "I'm gonna change then." _

_"Okay," he answered back. "Uh, don't fall in the toilet or whatever," he added somewhat awkwardly. _

.o.

We come back to the counter to find that the food has been served. Ryan, ever the gentleman, hasn't taken a bite of his meal, waiting for Eugene and I to come back.

"You didn't have to wait," I say sweetly, sliding onto my stool.

"Oh, I wanted to," Ryan says with a smile. We both dig into our plates. Obviously we were both hungrier than we thought we were as neither of us says a word as we devour our food.

Eugene laughs as we finish up. "Well y'all just ate like y'all was in the army or something. Damn!"

We all burst into laughter and stand up to leave. Ryan and Eugene start to shake hands and then Eugene pulls him into a fatherly hug. I smile as I watch them interact. Eugene acts more like Ry's dad than Mr. Evans does and I like to think that our children could consider Eugene their third granddaddy. Wait! Our children? What the heck am I thinking?

Eugene kisses both of my cheeks and squeezes my hands. "Go get 'em, tiger!" he whispers in my ear. I grin encouragingly, but inside my head I am thinking, I would if I had the courage to.

.o.

_I emerged from the bathroom, feeling much better in my borrowed oversized off white cotton pajamas. I'd let me hair loose from its buns and the waves cascaded down my back. _

_Ryan sat on the floor in front of the bed. His dark brown suit jacket and to my surprise the matching pants lay neatly folded on the chair in front of the mahogany desk. He simply wore a neatly pressed white shirt, the sleeves unbuttoned and hanging loosely around his thin arms, and a pair of maroon silk boxers. I couldn't help but collapse into a fit of slightly embarrassed giggles. _

_He turned to look at me and a slow smile spread across his face: a reaction to my giddy fit of laughter. "What?" he asked. _

_"Nothing," I said gasping for air. "It's just…well…your boxers match your tie!" I burst out, laughing even harder as I flung myself onto the bed. _

_Ryan blushed for a second and then, seeking revenge, hopped on the bed and began tickling my sides. "So what if they match!" he cried, his fingers digging deeper into my stomach. _

_"Okay, okay!" I said helplessly. "So what if they match. It's perfectly fine if they match. In fact, I bet tons of people do that. You know, match things like that or whatever." _

_Ryan laughed and removed his hands, falling back on the duvet to lie beside me. We both heaved heavily for a few moments, panting like worn out dogs. _

_"Let's see what's on TV!" Ryan suggested enthusiastically a few minutes later. He pushed himself up on his elbows and slid back to where his back touched the huge cream-colored pillows propped up against the headboard. He picked up the remote controller from the bedside table and began flipping through the channels displayed on the silver flat screen hanging on the wall across from us. He rested on an old movie channel, TMC, which was playing some old black and white film. _

_"Perfect," Ryan sighed happily, settling on the bed. I got up and padded across the floor to dim the lights and then hopped back on the bed, making sure to stay on my side of the bed. I glanced over at Ryan to make sure he wasn't getting drowsy, but his clear blue eyes were wide open and focused on the movie before us. _

_He noticed my gaze. "Don't worry, Ella. I won't fall asleep here." _

_An hour later we were both sound asleep on the bed, my head on his chest, his legs entwined with mine._

_Oops. _

**Not amazing, I know. I wrote this really fast and there are probably a million mistakes. But I just really wanted to update. Hope you enjoyed it and I promise the next chapter will be better. **


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